Week 25

Hey y'all! This about sums up my week!

Bike Stats
Total: 412.96 Miles
Week: 47.785 Miles
MaxSpd: 28.4 MPH
AvgSpd: 10.8 MPH
TimeMoving: 4 hrs, 24 min, and 53 sec

We taught a drunk guy this last Friday and told him he shouldn't be drinking! He took it pretty well, but then again I think he was dulled a little bit... We could've told him he was going straight to heaven and he wouldn't have been more excited than he was when we told him that he shouldn't be drinking. But then again, we could've told him that he was going to be thrust down straight to hell and he would've had about the same reaction... I'm not sure he understood what we were trying to say. He told us he only drinks a little bit and that it is ok cause it's not a lot and he puts it away when we come over... So we gave him an analogy: (Elder Allen's commentary in the quotation marks) Keep in mind he is in his late 50s...

"Fred, (some names may have been changed to protect the confidentiality of the person(s) involved) if we made you some cookies, would you eat them?"


"Well, what if we told you that we only put a little bit of dog poop in them? Would you still eat them?"

"Ewwwwwwww! That gross! Why would you put dog poop in cookies?!"

"Fred, that's not important, would you still eat them?"

"No, there's dog poop in them."

"But Fred, it's only a little bit!"

"It's still Dog Poop!! That's gross! --------- Hey, look at my new chair! I got it today. Do you like it? It's soft and comfy and I got it today. It's my new chair. I got it today cause I had a friend that had it and didn't wanna have it anymore and so I got it today and it's my new chair."

"Fred, that's a very nice chair, I am glad that you have a new chair.
(I actually was, cause I didn't have to sit on the chair with my comp) Now pay attention! Fred, it's only a little bit of alcohol. That's not good and you shouldn't be drinking it!"

"But it's only a little bit and I put it away when you come over to respect you and I am very respectful!"

"Thank you for being respectful Fred, but there is only a little bit of Dog Poop in the cookies."

"What cookies?"

"Remember how we were going to make you cookies and put some dog poop in them?"

"That's mean and you should show respect like I show respect!"

At this point we basically gave up trying to connect multiple ideas together with symbology. So, we tried a different tactic.

"Fred, there are two types of instigators in this life. There is faith and there is fear. We cannot have one and have the other. So do you believe that Jesus can heal you?"

"Yes! Jesus can heal me. I pray for it everyday"

"So why do you need alcohol?"

"Because it numbs the pain while I am waiting for Jesus!"

*Door opens* *Lady walks in playing a bunch of Gangsta rap*

Fred: "Hey Lashanda! (Remember how I said names have been changed?
Hers might not have been... I'm not trying to be racist here I promise. I know it might come across that way, but I promise that I am not trying to be racist. ) We are trying to talk about Jesus and God here. You need to leave!! Go out right now and take your radio-phone with you."

*Lady looks at us and backs up slowly* *doors slams* (Ironic huh?
Usually we are on the other side of the door!)

Fred: "See?! (He was very proud of this) I showed you respect right now by making her go away with her radio-phone!

"Yes, thank you Fred! So do you have faith that Jesus can heal you?"

"YES!!! I have lots of faith! I believe very much in Jesus Christ and what He teaches!"

"Fred! That is super good! So by drinking, are you showing Jesus Christ that you have faith that He can heal you or are you showing fear and uncertainty by masking the pain with alcohol?"

"Oh! I am showing faith! I believe that He can heal me!"

(How could he have gotten that one wrong? I don't understand. If you do, please help me.)

"No Fred, you are showing fear. If you were showing faith, then you would stop drinking alcohol right now and you would start reading the Book of Mormon"

"Oh, I am not ready to stop drinking yet. I need it to keep my twitches down!"

"Ok Fred, can we set a date with you of when you need to quit by?"

"Nope. I'm not ready yet!"

At this point we gave up and tried to read and pray about the Book of Mormon with about the same amount of success that we had trying to get him to give up alcohol. Such is trying to call drunk people to repentance.

Don't drink! It's bad! Stay away from all of that. The Word of Wisdom is there for a reason.

That about sums up our week! Love y'all! Happy Day after Valentines Day!

-Elder Allen

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